Peter struggled with this when Jesus shared with him some of his future persecution (end of John 21). “Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them…When Peter saw him, he asked, “Lord, what about him?” So maybe Peter questioned what John had that he didn’t. Was John going to endure the same death? If not, why not?

Jesus’ comeback is clear. “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me.” In essence here is the message I think Peter needed (and maybe we need) to hear.

Peter, I’m talking to you. You follow me and we’ll work it out together. Don’t worry about John. He and I have things squared away. As long as you both follow me things will fall into place. We will learn together. Your unique experiences will collide with my presence and you’ll be able to appropriately live out my story in your context. Just like John does in his. And when the three of us meet together in this work we’ll discuss and adjust to fit that time. But for now follow me.

There isn’t some general formula that we can apply to our lives and expect Kingdom fruit to flourish. You’re the only person who is you. I am the only one who is me. The command is to follow Jesus and when we do the results of that journey will vary between us, but that’s not the point. We’re not asked to purchase, buy into, a pre-packaged Christian experience. We’re asked to follow him. And this apprenticeship will naturally workout differently for those of us in the West than it will for those who follow Jesus in Asia, and so on.

Following Jesus as our unique selves will ensure we learn some things others who follow him don’t and perhaps miss out on some things others enjoy. But we’ll always know who we’re with and that’s what matters.

Let’s be honest, our propensity is to cover up our perceived weaknesses, to keep closed those doors to our hidden life, to protect our status as healthy humans. And this thinking can squelch a reality that may slip away from us if we’re not careful. When we train certain aspects of our humanness to vanish like ninjas when threatened we miss out on participating in and sharing with others our full humanity. And what did the incarnation of Jesus express if it didn’t express that God wants to, and does, participate in the fullness of humanity–the good, bad and ugly? God, in Jesus, embraced the vulnerabilities often disassociated from a complete person. He didn’t shy from them or throw on his shades. On the cross, and recorded for all to read, God unleashed his doubts and divulged a deep emotional trauma: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?”

God stamped approval on humanity by his willingness to enter it. He didn’t sit coldly from his divine perch and demand that we seek the status of gods before we could enjoy intimacy with him. He moved into our space, our world, our pain, our suffering, our condition. And Jesus didn’t enter human existence devoid of such realities. Still, he removed the typical protective measures and fully opened himself to God. He pled for his life in the garden. He wept at the passing of a friend. He cried out to God in confusion. Had he clamped shut these aspects of himself he would have come short of a full expression of humanity.

I’m afraid that failing to accept the implications of the incarnation has deepened our resolve to resist all the vulnerability we believe endangers our humanity. The irony, though, is that in doing so we cut off opportunities to be fully human. Let’s not forget that those tears and fears we believe need denied and suppressed are also emotions God seeks to share with us.

To love move beyond what feels secure.
To love wade into the dark unsure.

To love set no boundaries or conditions.
To love forsake the path of least resistance.

To love see beneath the outer layer.
To love seek out what is just and fair.

To love peer into a person’s eyes.
To love look beyond the failed disguise.

To love would halt a world of violence.
To love would leave all rage in silence.

To love would transform the world we see.
To love begins with you and me.

The words don’t come.

Here for a cause.

To tell him just some

Of the things he’s made

Possible in my life.

But thoughts on parade

Create great strife

Inside my heart.

Confusion and hesitation;

Where to start?

Oh, the frustration…

But then I stop in confidence

With reason for ponder.

Thanks to the Spirit he sent—

My God doesn’t have to wonder.

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts know the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. –Paul.

I wanted to pray today and couldn’t. Where are the deeper things? I’d like to think I drink of the deep well of God’s love, but I haven’t felt the refreshing of it.

The next few weeks I will seek to find the deep where I can anchor my anxiety. Hope compels me. I tried to pray today and couldn’t. So I wrote.

Will be posting stuff soon as I get more comfortable and settled. I have a post at John Dobbs’ site today. Click on his link to the right:  Out Here Hope Remains.

Take care!

Mark Hamilton (PhD – Associate Dean, Associate Professor of Old Testament, ACU Graduate School of Theology) has written an incredible piece dealing with the demographic crisis in church culture. Read and start a conversation in your context.

Here is a line from it to stir your interest: “No one who has been a Christian for more than twenty years gets to be the “weaker brother.”

For those of you who know me (and know why some of the things have happened recently) let me simply say the church in Skiatook knows as well and have embraced my family and me. When we visited I sensed a deep awareness of God’s presence. They have agreed to provide a place of healing and transformation as we work together to find God’s activity and join up.

Thanks to God and to you all for remaining with my family and me.

Stayed tuned as I will soon begin sharing on the blog my  journey with Skiatook.

I still hate it but am making myself learn to love it. Any runners out there want to share some advice? Best time to run? Form and technique tips? Shoes? Etc.?

Also, be sure to check out John Dobbs blog tomorrow. Click on the link for Out Here Hope Remains to the right.

God bless.